Elli's Regrets
by almakazam
Summary: Have you ever felt that you did something- or for Elli's case, didn't do anything to have the one you love? Oh dear regrets. *One shot*


**_Guess what? I feel angst-y again! Hahaha :D So eventually, my emotions forced my brain to work on this one-shot, although it sounds kinda crappy and aloof. But anyways, if you don't like it, don't read it! haha. :D Kidding. Anyways, I need reviews on this one to know what I'm lacking and what I'm needing as a writer. Thank yowww! :3 [finished the story by 11:50pm]_**

**_And by the way, Trent here is actually Doctor Tim of HM. I just got so used to the name Trent than Tim. XD_**

* * *

Closing the doors of the clinic as the doctor happily left, I closed my eyes. In the darkness, distressing memories started flooding my already occupied mind. Those heart-breaking memories happened almost three years ago.

All along I thought what I had was the key to his emotionless heart, the one who would be able to bring out that rare smile on his firm but perfect face not only once, but always. The only one who will be able to receive that special blue feather from him, the one who will love him for eternity.

For a fool like me, of course I was wrong. I was never the one for all of those; I wasn't the key to that dense heart of his. I wasn't the one for him. But maybe, I was close enough to be the one… There were mistakes that I made that I regret until now.

* * *

_"Elli, lock the doors. I'll be resting now. Good night and good job today." Trent said in a lifeless tone as he started for the stairs to sleep, or so he said. I bet he wasn't going to rest. He'd be studying again, as usual. I shrugged and walked towards the door to lock it._

_I realized that the doctor didn't give me the clinic keys yet, he might have forgotten it. I laughed to myself and shook my head._

_Before I went upstairs, I prepared a cup of warm milk and a plate of sandwiches for him. I was sure he would eat these, because these were his favorites and he hadn't taken his dinner yet._

_I gently knocked on the wooden door of his room and whispered, "Doctor? Doctor Trent?"_

_"Come in." The familiar, deep voice said from inside. The door creaked open as I quietly entered the lit room, and as I said earlier, the doctor was studying. For tonight, he was studying about different herbs. Basil had given him these books this morning._

_"What is it?" he asked without looking at me. I sighed and placed the tray of food on another table and teasingly said, "The keys, doctor. You old man."_

_He faced me slowly, with his one, thick eyebrow raised. He shook his head and smiled that made my heart race. His smile was such a rarity, and whenever I see him smile or smirk or laugh, I tend to blush frantically and my heart starts to pound very fast and loud._

_"Here you go, Elli." His smile vanished in an instant when he turned to get the keys from his coat that was lying next to him. I took the keys with my nervous hands from him._

_"So, herbs?" I moved closer to him._

_"Yes, and since tomorrow's Wednesday, I'll be picking some herbs by the mountain." He looked at me and gestured me to sit down on the chair beside him. I shook my head and just smiled._

_"Aren't you going to the library?" I said, tilting my head._

_"Not anymore." He sighed. "Basil decided to give me his books for my studies."_

_"Oh, how nice of him." I giggled. "I'll drop by Grandma Ellen and Stu tomorrow morning, as usual."_

_"Sure. I'd love to see the two again, so I'm going with you first tomorrow. I have a gift for them actually."_

_"Oh, why…" My eyes widened and flushed bright red. "I… Umm… Thank you, doctor."_

_Doctor shook his head and said as he looked into my eyes. "Call me Trent if it's not working hours. We're friends after all." The words struck my soft heart. We're friends after all._

_I felt I was melting, but I turned away to break the gaze._

_"Oh, okay, Trent. By the way, I brought you milk and sandwiches." I said in a somewhat trembling voice, gesturing to the tray on top of the other table. I quickly turned away to leave._

_He faced the thick book again as he bid me good night._

_I was about to open the door when he whispered, "Thanks for the food again tonight. I appreciate it."_

_I didn't turn to face him; I just held my chest and felt my heart thumping. A smile started to stretch across my face and my cheeks were warm. I continued my way downstairs to close the clinic doors._

_I loved nights like this._

_I locked the doors and headed for my room. I changed into my night dress and clutched the key tightly for one last time in my hands, and put it inside my drawer. I switched off the lights and slept soundly, dreaming of him on that serene night. I didn't know that this would be one of the last moments we would ever talk like that._

_It was Wednesday morning._

_"Doctor?" I called out from downstairs. He hadn't come out yet, and I already prepared breakfast for the both of us to start our day._

_"Yes, yes, here I am." Trent said hastily as he walked briskly down the stairs. He was bringing a basket full of spring seeds and vegetables. "What's for breakfast?" he said with that plain, emotionless expression on his face again while he pulled his chair to eat._

_"Sandwiches, scrambled eggs and milk." I happily answered as I sat. "By the way, doctor. How's that girl you found a few days ago?"_

_He took a small bite from the sandwich, and drank milk. "Oh, you mean that blonde girl that got washed up on the beach? Haven't seen her yet."_

_We finished eating breakfast and walked leisurely to Grandma's house. We were talking about what he had studied last night. I just kept on nodding and smiling since the terms he used were too complicated for me to understand._

_When we had reached the house a few minutes after, we saw Grandma Ellen sitting on her rocking chair as usual, and my brother Stu was holding a cage full of bugs._

_"Hey Elli!" My brother squealed. "Look, I caught a beetle, a cricket and a grasshopper!"_

_I raised my eyebrow at him. "Ick. Stu, you know I hate insects."_

_He rolled his eyes and skipped happily to my companion. "Hey Doctor Trent! Look at this!"_

_Trent gave him a quick smile and said, "Those are pretty nice Stu."_

_My brother then stuck out his tongue out at me, and went outside to play._

_"Good morning, Ellen." Trent said as he walked closer to my grandmother. I stood behind him, carrying the basket full of vegetables and seeds he was going to give to her. He gestured me to give the basket to grandma._

_"Oh why thank you, Trent!" Grandma took the basket happily. "Elli, help me later to plant these in the hothouse."_

_"Of course, grandma." I laughed. I tapped the doctor's shoulder and whispered, "Thanks so much, Trent."_

_Just when the doctor was about to reply to me, there were three heavy knocks on the door and a cheerful, blonde girl came in, skipping like a child._

_"Hello everybody!" The blonde girl exclaimed. She seemed familiar… She was the girl who got washed up at the beach a few days ago. "My name is Claire, and I will be staying in Mineral Town for a long time!"_

_"Oh. So you're the girl Mayor Thomas was talking about. Pleased to meet you, I'm Ellen." My grandma smiled._

_"Hello Claire." I greeted her. "My name's Elli and I am the clinic nurse. Oh my… You have a cut!" I rushed to the girl and took her hand gently. Her palm was bleeding._

_"Oh… Oh yeah! My hand **is** bleeding!" Her eyes widened at the sight of blood._

_"Elli? Could we go back to the clinic for a minute? We need to clean her wound first and cover it with a Band-Aid." Trent said coolly._

_The three of us went back to the clinic, and did the usual. I assisted Trent in cleaning her cut and covered it with a Band-Aid._

_"Hmm. What did you do earlier?" The doctor asked in a quiet tone, sitting on his chair. Claire was sitting on the other side so that he could face the doctor and I just watched the two of them converse, standing behind Claire._

_"Well, this morning," Claire answered loudly and cheerfully, as if nothing happened to her, "I went out to my field to do some cleaning... Oh yeah! I used a sickle to cut all my weeds! And so I think that I accidentally had a cut while I was using it but I didn't notice it! Oh it's so silly of me!" She giggled._

_I don't know if I was just imagining things, but I think I saw Trent smile._

_"Okay. You can leave now." Trent said and waved his hand. I bid her good bye and smiled._

_Claire grinned and exclaimed happily as she went out, "Thanks Elli and handsome Doctor!"_

_When Claire said that, I immediately faced Trent and saw his face tomato red. I felt something ridiculous about myself, something bizarre, like I was irritated… No, I was jealous. Unquestionably jealous._

_"Trent…" I sighed._

_"She sure is talkative… and undeniably cheery and loud." He said, still staring at the door with a smile on his face._

_And that was the start... The beginning of Claire and Trent's sweet lives, their love story._

_Everyday, Claire would be busting in the clinic bringing different herbs in the afternoon, and they would be chatting and laughing until dusk. I, on the other hand, watched them from the counter, breaking silently into pieces and crumbling wordlessly into filth… Trent would only talk to me after Claire leaves; asking me to close the clinic doors as he would go to his room with a wide grin on his face, or at certain times when he needs something, like assisting him when there's a patient, or when he asks me to help with his paperwork._

_Eventually, we had stopped talking to each other about casual things. He has even stopped giving gifts to Grandma and Stu. Trent's attention was all about Claire, Claire, Claire and Claire. Our friendship vanished slowly, until it reached to the point that our bond was back to doctor and nurse again; as if there had never been any memories that we shared when we were still friends._

_But I couldn't just face Trent and tell him that we don't talk to each other anymore because of Claire; that he doesn't notice me anymore since all he could see is Claire alone; that I'm frustratingly jealous because of Claire... Because I don't have any right to get mad at all those. After all, who am I anyway? I'm just his mere nurse, no more, no less. I don't have any right to decide for him and get jealous because he is not mine. I'm nothing to him anymore… just someone he needs when it comes to clinic matters. Most of all, I didn't want to confide this with him because…_

_I wanted him to be happy… always. Claire was the only one who could make him this happy and blissful. I didn't want to take away the only source of his happiness. So I just kept quiet._

_They became officially together after a long while. I was just silent when it was confirmed, but at certain, depressing nights I would bawl my eyes out. However, I never lose hope. I kept on thinking that one day, he would realize that I would be the one… I was living an illusion._

_That was my mistake. I didn't do anything at all though; all the while I kept quiet of what I felt about him and the situation. I let the events passed by me, and still, acted like it was just normal for me. I tried to become numb so that I won't feel any pain anymore, and of course I did not succeed._

_Trent eventually got influenced by Claire's optimistic and cheerful ways, and he would often smile now. It was good to see him like that, though it still hurts because I wanted to be the reason behind all those smiles and laughs. Nevertheless, he had changed. He was not as tedious, quiet and lonesome as before, he almost acted like Claire. The way he smiles and chuckles… The way his eyes sparkle with delight and joy… Those were Claire's behavior._

_Yet, he did change in a negative way at some points. He sometimes tends to skip work and be at Claire's farm, leaving me to do his work in the clinic. Plainly saying, he has become a little bit irresponsible._

_Then, it was one of those heavy, snowy winter days, particularly the sixteenth of the season, and the doctor had told me to run an errand for him. Trent said that he had a lot of paperwork today regarding the villagers' health charts and profiles so he couldn't leave it undone. He asked me to go to Forget-Me-Not Valley to get some medical books and medical equipments from Dr. Hardy, after that, drop by Doug's Inn to buy a special meal and buy groceries from the supermarket. Trent would be expecting me by evening._

_"That's… a lot of stuff to do." I complained quietly. "So I'll be going now, Trent. See you later." I took my umbrella and went out to the snow falling from the white sky. He didn't even say a word as I left, no 'good bye', no 'take care', none at all. And that did hurt._

_I finished all the errands by late afternoon, earlier than the time I was expected to be back to the clinic. The farmer from Forget-Me-Not Valley helped me carry all the stuff back to Mineral Town, and I was very grateful for his help._

_"The doctor shouldn't ask a lady like you to do these things, especially on a day like this. Heavy snow." Jack's eyebrows furrowed as we were nearing the clinic. "That's not how a guy should act, you know."_

_"Well, he is awfully busy." I sighed. He shook his head._

_I opened the clinic doors and I could not believe what I saw. There was confetti all over the place, balloons and used party poppers. There was a big platter that had icing on it; a cake was probably on that plate before. And the one thing that shocked me most…_

_A banner posted on the wall of the clinic, saying, "Claire, will you marry me? " And based on what had happened to the place, it looks like there was a celebration. Claire accepted the blue feather, and they are soon to be married._

_I was speechless. I wished that the ground would eat me alive. This was the moment I feared, and now I truly regret that I have not done any action to let him know about anything that I felt…_

_Jack tapped me on my shoulder, and I faced him with tears welling up on the corners of my weary and sad eyes. He gave me a very warm and tight hug, crooning me over and over._

_When Jack had already left for the valley, I decided to take a peek at the doctor's room and congratulate him. But instead of seeing a Trent blissfully celebrating his successful proposal, or the usual Trent that is studying, I saw a different side of him._

_Trent's coat, long-sleeves and slacks were scattered idly on the wooden flooring of his room. But not only have that, a checkered, pinked long-sleeved top and denim jumpers hung by the window sill…_

_Those were Claire's clothes._

_I couldn't believe my eyes…_

_Trent and Claire were sleeping soundly on his bed, bare and naked; the only thing covering half of their body is a soft, white blanket._

_I closed the door softly and carefully so as to not make any disturbing sound. I ran for my bedroom and there, I wept. I cried all my heart out, all that I have bottled up inside of me, all the pain, the regret and the angst I felt… Nothing mattered to me that time… Nothing._

_The morning after that, as I was busy cleaning up the first floor of the clinic due to the "party" they had yesterday, Trent, in his ever smiling face, exclaimed blissfully, "Hey Elli! Claire and I are getting married by the sixteenth of Spring!"_

_"I…I…" What was I supposed to say?_

_"Hmm? What?" He urged me._

_"I, um, congratulations Trent." I faked a smile at him._

_He smiled and hugged me, that made my face bright red. "Please come, okay?" With that, he went outside to tell everybody about their marriage._

_I was so crushed… Had he not realize that the sixteenth of spring… is my birthday?_

_I cried quietly in the clinic as I swept the floor._

_And now, it was their wedding day. Everyone was invited._

_I stood by the pews with a bright smile, which of course, is just a pretention. All throughout the wedding my eyes just gazed at the two newly weds… And I didn't notice that the wedding was done. Trent gave a light kiss on Claire's lips, and both of them grinned._

_And none of them remembered that it was my birthday, except for Grandma Ellen, Stu, and Pastor Carter._

_How my heart cried out that night. All the pain..._

* * *

Someone knocked at the door. I snapped out of my memories and looked at the wall clock. 7: 09pm. I was dreaming for almost fifteen minutes. I shook my head and composed myself. _Deep breaths…_ I opened the clinic doors to see Trent, holding the keys.

"I forgot to give them to you. Sorry, ha ha ha." Trent chuckled, and then he stared at my face. "Were you crying, Elli?"

"H-Huh?" I held my cheeks and felt the moist, tracing the paths of my tears until it reached the corners of my eyes. "Oh, I.. Um, well, my eyes just hurt, Doctor. I need a sleep badly." I lied.

"Oh, is that so? Well. Okay, take care then." He gave the keys to me and said his usual line. "Elli, lock the doors, okay? I'll be resting now. Good night and good job today…"

But that wasn't all. He had a new line after that.

"…Claire and my baby Denisse are probably waiting for me now."

And I locked the clinic doors as soon as he left and cried again.

Maybe, if I just told him before how much he meant to me before he and Claire fell in love with each other… Maybe I wouldn't be sleeping alone here in the clinic.  
And maybe, if I just became a bit selfish back then, maybe I was the one who happily received that blue feather… Oh dear regrets of mine.

* * *

**_Boohoo Elli. ;( I have some regrets too! :( REVIEWS? Hahaha. :D No, critiques would be a better term. Again, Arigatou Gozaimasu! :3_**


End file.
